Following last week’s sudden acknowledgment of the 155-year-old existence of Juneteenth, the Middlebury College Administration decided to take a radical stance by almost listening to the demands of Black students instead of just calling them eloquent and thanking them for their time. In a school-wide email, President Patton announced that the school supports being recognized…

After weeks of holding it in, Middlebury finally released its much anticipated Fall reopening plan. The school stressed after the reveal that they took note of the negative response to the survey questions of: “would you pay full admission if you were online?” and “would you pay full tuition if you could not pee in…

Earlier today, Parker Carhill ‘20 became the first Middlebury student to graduate Zooma Cum Laude, Middlebury’s highest, and newest, honor created following the inaugural remote semester. Students unanimously nominated Carhill in a Google Form, recounting stories of his royal-standard Zoom etiquette.  Friends from his History of Environmental Disasters class noted his use of thematically relevant…

Please click on this sentence to read The Local Noodle’s Spring 2020 Once in a Lifetime Certified Platinum Quarantine Edition Magazine. We could not figure out how to insert the magazine directly into this article because we were too busy writing cutting-edge satire and being pretty. Please click this link.

As the Department of Undergraduate Housing Operations prepares for the unprecedented number of students returning to campus next fall, the school has had to identify new residential spaces. A group of nineteen lucky rising juniors originally vying for KDR were thrilled to find out they were placed in the Proctor Pit: the deep, damp, narrow…

Middlebury students worldwide gathered yesterday on Zoom for the first-ever digital edition of Nocturne, the college’s annual award-winning arts festival and 24-hour drug rave. Although students in certain time zones claimed that “the vibes were off” as the festival started at six in the morning for them, the event was generally hailed a success by…

Every year a cohort of Middlebury juniors return from abroad to announce that they cannot eat dining hall pizza or drink wine from a box or be a decent person anymore simply because abroad “changed them.” This year is no different as Erica Kaiser ‘21 claims that simply being stranded in Cameroon with no timeline…

Faced with an increasing deficit as a result of the COVID-19 crisis and the exorbitant cost of the MCAB carriage rides last fall, Middlebury administrators have reportedly resorted to extreme measures to protect the institution from financial insolvency, resulting in an unprecedented collaboration with admissions to simply print more students. Executive Master of Coins Karl…