Unable To Go Down Ski Slope, Feb Grads Go Down on Each Other Instead

Although the traditional Ski Down for February graduation has been moved to a remote ceremony, members of the class of 2020.5 insisted on an in-person celebration to mark the climax of their college careers. In an attempt to fill the void left during their final days of college, the Super Senior Febs decided to forgo the Bowl and head down some other happy trails.

The senior committee had initially planned a supplemental ceremony for November 21st, wherein the only wet orifices would be soggy ski boots, but the governor’s new guidelines restricting social gatherings forced them to come together in alternative ways. 

“I didn’t get a ski lift ride with my friends,” said Charley Burrows ‘20.5. “But I did get a moustache ride. And that’s almost as fun.”

The ceremony concluded with a student speech by Blake Toph ‘20.5 who, in addition to being a Cunnilinguistics major, is a member of The Dissipated Eight. Generally, the graduates described the event as a touching way to mark such a significant achievement. 

“As an athlete, I’m used to the administration sucking me off,” said John LeBlanc ‘20.5, Middlebury’s only Feb basketball player. “Now, I’m excited to see my friend Dan try to handle my Magic Johnson.”

Due to new quarantine restrictions across campus, the event was designated an eating out get-together, for academic purposes. Added LeBlanc, “This might be the closest I get to a rim all year.”

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