Department of Housing Will Place Students in Proctor Pit Amid Over-Enrollment Crisis


In response to exposure concerns from worried parents, the college has announced that the nineteen rising juniors placed in the Pit will enjoy sleeping in tents repurposed from the Fyre Festival.

As the Department of Undergraduate Housing Operations prepares for the unprecedented number of students returning to campus next fall, the school has had to identify new residential spaces. A group of nineteen lucky rising juniors originally vying for KDR were thrilled to find out they were placed in the Proctor Pit: the deep, damp, narrow hole in front of the beloved dining hall. 

“We’re stoked to be the first group of students to live in the Proctor Pit, or as we’ve already nicknamed it, The Pit” said Parsley Caldock ‘22. “It’s going to be sick!”

Kacey May, Director of Residential Life for Housing Operations, praised the administration’s ingenuity in such novel circumstances. 

“While it was certainly a challenge to find new spots for the growing number of students, we believe that these additional options embody some of Middlebury’s core values: community, creativity, and living 15 feet below sea level on a pile of rocks,” said May.

The department also announced that it would allow 200 additional seniors to live off-campus. Now, instead of being forced to live in luxurious, modern townhouses with private laundry and full-size beds, 70 seniors will get to spend their last year living together in the kitchen of their favorite restaurant, Fire & Ice.

Regardless of whether or not they will need a full belay system to leave their room next fall, students are eager to get back on campus and embrace their friends after a series of difficult months apart.

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