Roaring Twenties Party Ends Early After DJ Earworm Becomes Transfixed by the Piercing Gaze of Dr. T.J. Eckleburg


“But above the gray arena and the spasms of drunk college students which drift endlessly over it, you perceive, after a moment, the eyes of Doctor T. J. Eckleburg.”

The Middlebury roaring twenties themed Winter Carnival concert ended abruptly today after guest performer DJ Earworm became overwhelmed by the piercing gaze of famed oculist Dr. T.J. Eckleburg.

Halfway through the performance of his hit song: ”United State of Pop 2009,” the DJ turned around to note the visuals Middlebury has selected for his performance, only to watch the eyes of the famed Great Gatsby character form before him.

“It was ridiculous,” said Eric Newman ‘20 “One minute I was listening to the freshest mashup between the Black Eyed Peas and Lady Gaga and then suddenly the music abruptly stopped.”

“He just stood there with his arms up, sobbing,” noted Tom Taylor ‘23. “It went on for like twenty minutes. He completely sucked the life out of the party, and everyone left like two hours early.”

Eventually, Earworm was able to break free of his trance but neglected to continue the concert, electing instead to turn on a set of flashing green lights and play the song “Daisy Daisy (Bicycle Built for Two)” on repeat.

After a full psychological analysis courtesy of the Parton health services, DJ Earworm is expected to make a full recovery after his traumatic event. Sources close to him indicate he is now considering going back to school and majoring in English.

Though this episode certainly derailed students’ plans for the night, many found fun elsewhere on campus, and the Middlebury student body beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

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