Clingy Hookup Wants You to Acknowledge Their Existence in Public


Somehow, a past hookup can make even a wave seem threatening.

According to her friends, Tess Prett ‘22 is apparently upset that Francois Fuchbois ‘21 did not acknowledge her existence when they passed each other in the Atwater dining hall last Monday morning. 

Fuchbois has defeneded his actions, or lack thereof, by arguing that just because the pair had intimate, loving sex, it does not mean that they shared any level of human connection. “What will she expect next, for me to know her name? I already let her sleep over, even though I clearly wanted her to walk home to Ross from KDR at 3am after I finished” he said. 

When we reached out to Prett for comment, she responded, “What? Did he say anything about me? No? Oh. Cool. Uh, then it’s super casual, yeah, no feelings here!” 

The whole situation has become quite the headache for Fuchbois. “One of her indistinguishable friends came up to me and called me a dick,” he said,  “but I told her what I tell everyone, it’s all supply and demand.”

Still, Prett’s outlook on the situation is optimistic. “My counselor told me to just try looking hotter. People say Parton isn’t helpful, but I feel pretty good that he’ll text me again on Friday night.” 


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