Protestant Student Excited to Prove Work Ethic This Finals Week

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In the midst of finals week, a period notorious for its overwhelming stress and seemingly endless amounts of work, one student is savoring the opportunity to let his “Protestant work ethic” shine.

Citing his Episcopalian upbringing, Henry Tudor ‘22 has reportedly approached every task “with the undying passion and hardiness of a Swiss man choosing between joy on earth and eternal salvation.”

“If God could create the earth in six days and take a rest day,” he said, “Then you bet I can finish all my finals in one day and also apply for fifteen jobs with thoughtful, individualized cover letters before bed.”

He added that, “We Protestants value hard work over such frivolous frippery as drinking, dancing, eating, smiling, hugging, excessive breathing, and expressing ‘affection.’”

A senior with a looming thesis deadline says that Tudor approached her in Wilson Café as she was crying in her to-go cup to say, “You only have to write one thesis. Don’t you know that Martin Luther wrote 95 theses in one night? You’re acting like a Catholic, get a grip.” 

Tudor’s excitement about hunkering down in the library from sunrise to sunset for the next ten days is not shared by other students who were clearly not raised with the same upstanding morals.  

 

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