College Proudly Announces End of Transgender Awareness Week

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Middlebury was proud to celebrate Transgender Awareness Week this year by announcing the end of inclusive bathrooms.

Though the quick turnaround was met by disapproval from students, the college defended the decision by arguing that the endowment can’t maintain a $0.62 papercut poster printing expenditure any longer.

Despite student disappointment with the brevity of Middlebury’s endeavor, the week-long project was perfect for head photographer Stacey Trewster.

“The beauty of a one-week project was that it allowed me to photograph ‘gender-inclusive’ bathrooms for the Middlebury Campus and college website without having to document actual change,” she said.

“It was a great change of pace from photographing Mead Chapel from every conceivable angle. Also, I’ve always wanted to poop in a urinal like a real man.”

Student advocacy for a permanent gender-neutral bathroom policy was overridden by board member Brett Studebaker, after his nephew Chet ‘19 saw a “pretty lady pooping.”

Later, however, the administration conceded that they felt less satisfied with the abrupt policy change than normal.

“The rush of upsetting students was considerably smaller than usual this time round,” said one administrator, who wishes to remain unnamed. “Knowing that we never gave any real trans rights ultimately took a lot of the fun out of taking them away.”

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