Confirmed Enemy of the Press Plagiarizes Campus’ Last Bastion of Free Speech

 

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“Are you f**king serious,” said everyone who has eyes.

Editor’s Note: This is an ongoing story. We will continue to post updates as developments occur.

This post marks a dark day in Middlebury student newspaper history. The Middlebury Campus, emboldened by the record-shattering success of the first print edition of The Local Noodle, has stooped low enough to blatantly plagiarize the format of the fledgling paper’s front page.

Their volume CXVII, No.19 of the Campus, published on November 29th 2018, shocked Middlebury’s population by featuring nearly identical photos of the new oil rig, as well as similar color-scheme graphs and (we assume) their first attempt at political satire.

The paper could not have been a clearer example of the corporate “man” crushing the little guy. Or, in this case, the freedom fighters.

Since last week’s publication, The Local Noodle has been bombarded with complaints that, in mistaking The Campus for the beloved funny paper, students actually picked up a copy of The Campus with their bare hands. With their skin.

To reassure the legions of loyal readers, the Local Noodle is committed to resisting such tyranny and making our campus a better place. Luckily, The Noodle staff is reassured by the fact that despite the blatant, shameless plagiarism, nobody reads that cum rag.

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