Middlebury Mormons Pleased to Announce Daylight Has Been Saved


The Mormon duo has announced its future conversion goals include Word Docs to JPEGs.

After fruitless years of spreading the joy of Joseph Smith’s message around town, Middlebury’s resident Mormon duo has successfully converted their first and most important soul: Daylight.

They reached Daylight on its way out of the Co-op, where it was enjoying a Sip of Sunshine IPA. The Mormon duo began to explain their worship of Latter Day, Daylight’s uncle, and quickly, Daylight grew convinced.

When asked if it had anticipated the conversion, Daylight said, “No, I was totally surprised. Who would have guessed it was me that had to be shown the light?”

Daylight claimed it joined the congregation largely thanks to the promise of heaven–the land where the sun never sets. It’s also pleased to say that since its conversion, the Lord already cured its seasonal affective disorder.

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