Students Embrace New Bookstore System of Not Ordering Books

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Students are finding news ways to enjoy their free time now that they realize they don’t need to order any books.

Although many people were worried about the Bookstore’s decision to stop buying textbooks, the administration is relieved to see students welcoming the new policy by similarly deciding to not buy books for their classes. The students’ eagerness to follow the bookstore’s suit and not order the “mandatory” texts for their classes has assuaged fears that the students couldn’t figure their shit out on their own, or that bookstore would lose its purpose after neglecting to do the one thing it was invented to do.

“Dude, at first I thought the bookstore left me to die,” said Martha Warrens ‘19.5. “Without the bookstore, there was no way I could get my hands on The Communist Manifesto before my Sociology of the Proletariat class on Thursday. But then I realized, maybe the bookstore’s right. Maybe books are overrated.”

Several faculty members have raised concern about the students’ decisions to follow the bookstore’s lead and not buy any books for their classes. Indeed, in last Friday’s all-faculty meeting at BreadLoaf, several Biology professors suggested this would “prevent them from being able to teach” due to the fact that “kids won’t be able to read anything we assign them.”

Luckily, their discomfort was eased by several American Studies professors who assured them that their own students hadn’t read class texts for years, and that they always gained plenty of valuable information anyway.

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