Lil Uzi Vert to Perform Stripped Down Acoustic Set at WOMP


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Mr. Vert recently admitted his song “Canadian Goose” has lyrics inspired by Middlebury, such as “Literally I’m cold as fuck / I need Canadian Goose / I need to get a Moncler / Diamonds so cold need some soup.”

MCAB proudly announced this morning that not only will Lil Uzi Vert host the Spring Concert, but he will also headline this week’s Wednesday Open Mic Performance. At WOMP, Mr. Vert will play 5 of his hits with only an acoustic guitar and ukulele accompaniment, in order to show the softer side of lyrics like, “Try to diss me, I take it to your family / I fuck your sister then make sure that she vanish.”

“After I play some of my stuff, I’ll prolly hit ‘em with a Dylan cover” he stated, before hinting at the possibility that Migos might join him for an unplugged rendition of “Bad and Boujee” on mandolin and washboard. In such an intimate setting, the students will likely be able to really personally relate to lyrics like, “I don’t trust nobody, grip the trigger / Call up the gang, they come and get you.”

The young rapper’s flamboyant hair and unorthodox vibes bode well for his success in the grungy depths of Gifford basement. His mentality is not as different from the WOMP crowd as one might initially think. For example, lyrics like “And I still look highly of this bitch / Even though I know that she a whore / I’m a go deep in that shit / heard her pussy wetter than the shore,” dovetail well with the Gamut room vibe, where a graffiti inscription coincidentally says the exact same thing.

WOMP’s hosts are ecstatic about this surprise, claiming that this might double the regular crowd size to around 20 people. Because sales have ended to non-students, the WOMP promotion team is also hopeful that anybody who did not get tickets in time will pack the Gamut room Wednesday and purchase the very reasonably priced snacks.

The Middlebury Administration was not available for comment, but a source shared they simply cannot wait to see a large group of students gather and chant again.

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