The New Year has ushered in lots of fresh and exciting things, which unfortunately do not seem to include the condoms that have been hanging from a bag on your RA’s door for at least three years now.
Though your RA has been known to regularly update the whiteboard above the condom bag with welcoming notes such as smiley faces, or, “Got no protection? Can’t use that erection!”, the actual array of condoms in the bag has remained conspicuously untouched since your RA’s last RA’s first RA started Middlebury. And even then, these same condoms were not exactly fresh. “Are you sure these aren’t expired?” asked Fred Loehmann, ‘06, examining with raised eyebrows one of the condoms you can still see sitting at the top of the bag.
Because condoms do indeed expire, the Health and Wellness team has decided to revamp the accessibility of condoms by introducing a new wave of humorous condoms with fun styles and slogans. These include camo-patterned condoms that say “Don’t let them see you coming,” McDonald’s condoms that say “We love to make you smile,” and condoms with the Israeli flag and slogan, “It’s always safe to come.”
Hopefully, this effort will succeed in making students feel welcome to take advantage of their RA’s condoms, in a way that the whiteboard notes of “Coat that labrador before you let him explore” for some reason haven’t been able to.