Samsung Trying Out New Advertising Technique, Daily Safety Hazard Emails


A Samsung phone, strategically posed to explode in two minutes and create a “huge spike in brand name exposure.”

To test out their new hypothesis that exposure matters more than content, Samsung has decided to beta test a new advertising technique by repeatedly emailing Middlebury students about phone fire hazard concerns. Although the company recognizes that the emails’ content may be “a bit of a turn off,” they are hoping the numerous exposures will increase sales on campus.

“Did we have to blow up a few phones to tap into this advertising niche? Sure. But is it worth it? Only time will tell,” said Megan Krumm, VP of North American Sales at Samsung, after a presentation on their new advertising platform. In the presentation, she outlined how the company was hoping to expand this advertising even further “by having a couple phones explode in public spaces – imagine the media coverage THAT could get!”

Although the rates of Samsung purchases appeared to be dropping slightly on campus, Samsung is confident the rate will adjust with time, “as students get more exposure with our brand name.” Students, on the other hand, are secretly relieved this will force their friends with Samsungs to finally switch to iPhones and allow them to use “real group chats, with names and blue messages,” instead of “those green shitty ones” or, even worse- GroupMe.

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