As the Department of Undergraduate Housing Operations prepares for the unprecedented number of students returning to campus next fall, the school has had to identify new residential spaces. A group of nineteen lucky rising juniors originally vying for KDR were thrilled to find out they were placed in the Proctor Pit: the deep, damp, narrow…

Middlebury students worldwide gathered yesterday on Zoom for the first-ever digital edition of Nocturne, the college’s annual award-winning arts festival and 24-hour drug rave. Although students in certain time zones claimed that “the vibes were off” as the festival started at six in the morning for them, the event was generally hailed a success by…

Every year a cohort of Middlebury juniors return from abroad to announce that they cannot eat dining hall pizza or drink wine from a box or be a decent person anymore simply because abroad “changed them.” This year is no different as Erica Kaiser ‘21 claims that simply being stranded in Cameroon with no timeline…

Faced with an increasing deficit as a result of the COVID-19 crisis and the exorbitant cost of the MCAB carriage rides last fall, Middlebury administrators have reportedly resorted to extreme measures to protect the institution from financial insolvency, resulting in an unprecedented collaboration with admissions to simply print more students. Executive Master of Coins Karl…

Today marked the 26th consecutive evening of Ross serving a “Meals from Home” style dinner to the Middlebury student body. Following last night’s smash-hit entree “noodles with butter” and Saturday’s “leftovers from Deborah’s casserole recipe,” Ross continued to emulate the classic home-meal experience by updating go/noms/ to declare that there would be “no dessert” and…

The debate over the revision of Middlebury’s grading policy this semester has come to an apparent end, as the administration announced that their laptop’s microphone “sucks” and therefore left them unable to hear the student body. “This whole issue is rather unfortunate,” said Earl Hicks, spokesperson for the Office of the Provost, while utilizing a…

As Middlebury transitions to remote classes, students are finding that Zoom classrooms are providing them with new, intimate insights into the lives of their peers. Warren Hastings ‘22, founder of Midd for Bernie, surprised his Sociology of Property classmates when he joined the Zoom meeting from the ostentatious, marble-columned living room of his family’s estate…

Already reeling from the loss of their spring semester, Middlebury students woke up this morning to the announcement of yet another life-disrupting cancellation: the public execution of the Ross Rhino, scheduled for finals week, will be postponed to next fall. The decision to execute the Ross Rhino initially came in an email from the SGA…

After yesterday’s emergency meeting to discuss the Covid-19 outbreak and its impact on the immediate future of Middlebury, the Board of Trustees has unanimously voted to make the survival of the Local Noodle a primary objective for the coming months. The decision was announced yesterday afternoon after a particularly convincing presentation by Noodle staff and…